A LETTER TO HEART

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Heart

Dear heart,

It’s quite ignorant to ask how are you doing, because I can feel your heaviness right here in my chest. I feel you beating and just like how I am counting every breathe, it seems like you’re counting your each beat because it’s heavy and you feel like you can’t do this anymore.

Here my phone vibrates, I see it, you see it. We see it together and then keep it aside because we feel too tired to talk to anyone. When I close my eyes, I feel you becoming heavier because mind is replaying all the times you did terrible things, and the guilt is mixing up with sadness and at this point, I shut my eyes tightly because I feel your pain rising up in my chest and I cannot breathe.

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I don’t blame you. It is not your fault. And at times, you feel tired of your own self because I can’t rip off my chest and stroke you gently to bring you peace, neither you can do that. You feel so unimportant and you don’t know how to talk about it to anyone.

You wake up everyday and you are told by mind to be strong and you feel even more drained because you don’t know how to be strong anymore. Your primary job was to pump blood, how did you end up here?

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But, you did endure pain. You felt like your veins are about to burst with pain but you tolerated it and then there were times when you felt free. How did you do that?

Through courage. so, courage, dear heart, courage. Love, the one carrying you around.

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