Harsh Realities of Divorce: Insights from J&K’s lesser-known cases

As we all know it is the 21st century and every kind of controversy can be seen cropping up. One of the famous controversies in day-to-day life is divorce. It may be normal in high-class societies or metro cities but not normal in small cities. In J&K, divorce cases are rare and is a big step if taken that too after lots of problems being together. These cases exist when there is misunderstanding, lack of trust, black magic, hidden unbearable and unbelievable torture from the in-laws forces couples to separate.

Many such cases are happening in small areas of J&K and the shocking thing is that couples take divorce at the age when their loved ones are mature but helpless in making patch up between their parents.

We have heard ‘Love is blind’, ‘Love has no end’. Yes, I agree with such statements because after separating couples forget the fights, and quarrels and still have love, sympathy, care for each other because they have spent a lot of time together. They know the taste, and temperament of each other so closely and deeply that no one else can understand.

During disputes between couples, no one takes serious interest or steps in to convince them. Everyone makes fun of their dispute, backbites and make fake stories about the couples and their children. But after the divorce of the couple, people take the initiative to step in to convince them, show fake sympathy and give them hope of making a patch-up again.

The ill knowledge or concept of well-educated people is that a divorced woman can marry a green tree by giving a few rounds around that tree and tying a thread or a piece of cloth on it and then she has to separate the piece of thread or cloth from the tree after that she can marry the man from whom she separated.

By giving false hope to the victim, the victim is forced to remember his/her whole moment spent with her/his partner which results in the person being frustrated. He/she is unable to concentrate on anything else.

While talking to Ayibar and Narmi, the children of a divorced victim, they said respectively: “In the absence of my mom, I find my home like a desert, and in the absence of my siblings, I find myself empty, incomplete and dull’ and “I find myself unsafe, unprotected because I don’t find my brother here beside me putting his hand on my head and my shoulder”. Such horrible and touchy words!

They said that they used to travel near about 150 km to make their thirst for love, sympathy, and care calm down. They added by saying that when they used to hug their siblings and parents they felt relaxed, superior and felt in heaven.

Here are some of the answers the victims had for a few of my questions:

What happened exactly that your parents separated after such a long time of being together?

Once there was a time when people of our locality used to say that the chemistry, love, and understanding is just super awesome between our parents but the truth which we noticed is that our parents slowly started to get far from each other and the result is now in front of us.

What were the exact reasons for divorce?

Misunderstanding arose and the whole credit for the dispute and separation of our parents goes to black magic. Otherwise, there was nothing like separation in the minds of our parents.

Will your parents remarry?

There is no such concept in our parents’ minds and as we observed, they still feel for each other.

How do you manage to carry your daily expenditures?

It was very difficult for us to handle all this but now with the blessing of Allah, we got a good job in the best place with a good package and Alhamdulillah, it’s to some extent smooth financial condition to make the daily expenditure quite easy.

Who do you find much fault for the divorce of your parents?

Black magic.

The most suffering parties are the young ones who suffer a lot. He/she has thousands of unanswered questions.

In this conflict-torn valley, these divorce cases have risen rapidly due to so many reasons.

I want to ask a few questions to you all whether you are a student, an employee, a businessman, a politician or someone else:

• Is divorce the right step?
• Can’t we make patch-up instead of mocking?
• Can’t these in-laws step back from doing such unbearable and unbelievable acts?
• Shouldn’t black magic be banned or boycotted?
• Can’t we erase or remove the ill knowledge from our society?
• If divorce happens, can’t we help the person by giving support instead of making mockery?
• Why we are ignoring such things as small?
• Why we are absent from helping? Why?

There are many more questions in my mind but what to ask you when you are going to ignore and will forget after reading this article!