Rapid cases of divorce in small cities: Study

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As we all know it is 21st century and every kind of controversy can be seen croping up. One among famous controversies in day to day life is divorce. It may be normal in high class societies or in metro cities but not normal in small cities. In J&K, divorce cases are rare and is a big step if taken that too after lots of problems being together. These cases exist when there is misunderstanding, lack of trust, black magic, hidden unbearable and unbelievable torture from the in-laws forces couples to separate.
There are many such cases happening in small areas of J&K and the shocking thing is that couples take divorce at the age when their loved ones are mature but helpless in making patch up between their parents.
We have heard ‘love is blind’, ‘Love has no end’. Yes, I agree with such statements because after separating couples forget the fights, quarrels and still have love, sympathy, care for each other because they have spend a lot of time together. They know the taste, temperament of each other so closely and deeply that no one else can understand.
During dispute between couples, no one takes serious interest or steps in to convince them. Everyone makes fun of their dispute, backbyte and make fake stories of the couples and on their children. But after the divorce of the couples, people take initiative to step in to convince them, show fake sympathy and give them hope of making patch up again. The ill knowledge or concept of well educated people is that a divorced woman can marry a green tree by giving few rounds around that tree and tying a thread or a piece of cloth on it and then she has to separate the piece of thread or cloth from the tree after that she can marry the man from whom she separated.
By giving false hope to the victim, the victim is forced to remind his/her whole moment spent with her/his partner and results the person being frustrated. He/she is unable to concentrate on anything else.
While talking to Ayibar and Narmi, the children of a divorced victim, they said respectively: “In absence of my mom, I find my home like desert, and in absence of my siblings, I find myself empty, incomplete and dull’ and “I find myself unsafe, unprotected because I don’t find my brother here beside me puting his hand on my head and on my shoulder”. Such horrible and touchy words!
They said that they used to travel near about 150 km to make their thrist of love, sympathy, care calm down. They added by saying that when they used to hug their siblings and parents they felt relaxed, superior and felt in heaven.
Here are some of the answers the victims had for a few of my questions:

What happened exactly that your parents separated after such a long time being together?
Once there was a time when people of our locality used to say that the chemistry, love, and understanding is just super awesome between our parents but the truth which we personally noticed is that our parents slowly slowly started to get far from each other and the result is now infront of us.

What were the exact reason of divorce?
Misunderstanding rised and the whole credit for the dispute and separation of our parents goes to black magic. Otherwise, there was nothing like seperation in the mind of our parents.

Will your parents remarry?
There is no such concept in our parents mind and as we observed, they still feel for each other.

How you manage to carry your daily expenditures?
It was very much difficult for us to handle all this but now with the blessing of Allah, we got good job in best place with good pakage and Alhamdulillah it’s to some extend smooth financial condition to make the daily expenditure quite easily.

Who do you find much faulty for the divorce of your parents?
Black magic.

The most suffering parties are their young ones who suffer a lot. He/She has thousands of unanswered questions.
In this conflict-torn valley, these divorce cases has risen rapidly due to so many reasons.
I want to ask few questions to you all whether you are student, an employee, bussinessman, politician or someone else:
1. Is divorce a right step ?
2. Can’t we make patch-up instead of mocking ?
3. Can’t these in-laws step back from doing such unbearable and unbelievable acts ?
4. Shouldn’t black-magic be banned or boycotted ?
5. Can’t we erase or remove the ill knowledge from our society ?
6. If divorce happens can’t we help the person by giving support instead of making mockery ?
7. Why we are ignoring such things as small ?
8. Why we are absent from helping ? Why?
There are many more questions in my mind but what to ask you when you are going to ignore and will forget after reading this article!

AuthorRabiya Shafiq
The author is a Kashmir-based young journalist
Email: [email protected]

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