Ache in my soul does not subside,
Warmth of Summer has begun to ebb,
Its brightness lay under
The shadows of a deep hell,
My being exhibits traces of discomposure!
Eyes are suffused with tears
And a fierce chill
Has struck my young heart.
I have been weeping
Since the last week,
My room hears me crying
But pretends to be deaf,
It, the room, gives me a discriminating look
Which kills my soul’s radiance,
Healthy glow on my lips
Faded away with the water
Poured out by the waterfall
Of my eyes.
The land of my inside
Which is covered by
The snow capped mountains
Is sobbing under the veils of bullet;
“Abid bayya, please open the door!”
My li’l sister put it out softly
But I gave no attention to her
For my heart has broken
Into it’s perpetual sadness,
Pain sucked the sap
Of my drooping mouth
“I will not open it!
Get away from here
Or you will catch my heavy eye”
I replied but harshly
She lost herself in
An eternal bewilderment;
“Bayya! I have received a letter
From our sister Summaiya,
Have not read its content yet!
You shall go through it by yourself.”
There was an infinite weight
Running dreadfully through her words
“Ok! Give it to me”
Then I held the latch
And got the door
To have my sister inside.
The letter was impenetrably black
Its words were sparkling
A vivid light was shown
On it’s every corner,
My eyes started reading it;
“My dear brother Abid,
I wanted to meet you
But have not the heart to do that!
Some things are there within me
Which I want to send
To the lonely places of your mind,
Dear! Dark clouds have encompassed me,
The tone of this letter
Will express to you
The depth of my disappointment!
I always look at the darkening sky
From hope do I shrink!
I think my light is about to die!
Brother, my time springs close
To the jaws of death!
So I won’t be able
To come with you,
Certitudes of life have thrown
My heart into a burning pot!
I am burning rapidly
And my face is blazing with scars,
They have doused the charm of my hopes!
Winds from the darkest nights
Keep passing through me
And, I think, death is preparing
An eternal bed for me!
I always see myself
In a trap of terrible thoughts,
Night has bleached the stars
Of my cerulean sky
Oh! I see people
Decorating the grave for me.”
This letter has planted
A bundle of thorns
Upon my heavy heart,
The pain inside my veins
Ran deep and never died!
Dim light of the stars were breaking
Through the overcast sky
It was the first stage
Of the silent night
When I began my journey,
The ambience had acquired
A strange blankness and emptiness!
I kept flying swiftly
And finally sat my foot on the moon,
Ah! My heart was palpitating with excitement,
There were only naked mountains
A rumbling brook rolled through them
I felt my senses glistening with joy
When I looked on this
But the calm and peace
That I had caught with my hungry eyes
Receded slowly and I became hopelessly miserable
For an ‘Alien’ knocked my brain with a hammer
And thundered furiously;
“YOU ARE ORDERED TO RETURN TO YOUR HOME!”
His eyes were painted with silver
Fat muscles of clouds
Were tinged with gold over his head,
I waited a long moment in silence
Hoping that I would make it out somehow
But all went futile;
“Who are you?
And why do you
Want to keep me away
From my beloved, Zakir?”
Asked I with a dominant spirit
But I was given a slap
On my pallid cheeks;
“You can’t cross the boundaries
Of this moon without your spiritual
Mentor named, Summaiya Nilofer Kichloo.”
He went away after giving
Me a stunning reply.
Tears gathered in my eyes
They stroke my cheeks mercilessly,
What bothered me fearfully
Was the stillness that took
Over the place where I was!
My soul moaned like a child
It was pricked by the unfulfilled dream
To see my beloved, Zakir
“O My beloved!
I have thought of you perpetually.”
No answer came to me
I ran from here to there
To find a way back to my Kashmir
But alas! I was lost in
A dark abyss of death.
This poem is dedicated to my sister, Summiaya Nilofer Kichloo.